When I first came across the finding by Tali Sharot, a cognitive neuroscientist, that humans stick to 'their' facts even in face of clear evidence that they were made up, I started wondering what this would mean for personal development, teaching, and parenting. With the help of brain imaging, the study found that whether or not you stick to 'your' facts depended on a small structure deep inside the brain, about the size of a cherry tomato — the amygdala. An activated amygdala — a measure of emotional involvement — made it less likely that the subjects later corrected what they took as facts.
This cements the importance of emotions for learning and at the same time raises concern about their limitations. The big question is how to use emotions to our advantage.
This article is not about Emotional Intelligence, a buzzword popularized by Dan Goleman in the 90s. Neither is this article about advocating free reign for emotions. Instead, the intellect should harness emotions to ensure the correctness of direction and sufficiency of energy. This discussion is about how intellect alone is not enough to shape behavior, particularly in the longer term.
Islam Recognizes the Importance of Emotions
Is the above-discussed finding really a discovery? Allah (swt), the Creator, and Rasoolallah (saw), the best of humans, have resorted to emotions abundantly. There are countless Ayat in the Qur'an that talk about the heart. One such ayah is in Surah Ale-Imran [3:8], where Allah (swt) taught us the Dua:
"Our Lord, let not our hearts deviate after You have guided us and grant us from Yourself mercy. Indeed, You are the Bestower."
More practically, the Prophet (saw) in his dealings would address the emotions wherever necessary. So for instance after Ghazwa-e-Hunain, when some Ansar were disgruntled at not receiving booty despite having fought bravely, the Prophet (saw) gathered them and here is an excerpt of what he (saw) said: "You Ansar, do you feel anxious for the things of this world, wherewith I have sought to incline these people unto the Faith in which you are already established? Are you not satisfied, O group of Helpers that the people go with sheep and camels while you go along with the Messenger of Allâh to your dwellings?" The audience wept until tears rolled down their beards as they said: "Yes, we are satisfied, O Prophet of Allâh with our lot and share." [Ibn Hisham and Bukhari]
Now imagine your authority being challenged, be it in the capacity of a parent or in a corporate setting — what do you resort to as a response? "I'm the parent, I know better," or "It's company policy..." And in this case, the one whose acts were challenged was the Supreme leader of Muslims, acting upon Allah's (swt) orders, and instead of resorting to such reminders, he addresses their emotions. What result did that achieve? Complete submission, remorse at their behavior, and resolve to never repeat such complaints. This is the power of emotions.
To further understand this concept, consider the horse and jockey metaphor often used by scholars. In a horse race, the jockey represents intellect, while the horse represents emotions. Neither could win the race alone: the jockey won't be a match for other horses, and the horse alone might run in the opposite direction. It is only when the intellect is on top of emotions that we can benefit from the synergy.
Allama Iqbal's Aql versus Ishq
Allama Iqbal, like his master Rumi, is of those few scholars who not only understood the power of emotions and the tussle between intellect and emotions but also taught it to the whole world through his poetry. He doesn't deny the importance of employing intellect to find the truth but also cautions of the various ploys intellect can play to find excuses when the emotions are not in the right place:
عقل عیار ہے، سو بھیس بنا لیتی ہے عشق بےچارہ نہ ملا ہے نہ زاہد نہ حکیم
Similarly, he emphasizes the power of emotions in difficult situations, where intellect might see it rational to back out, but emotions will take us through. His reference to the story of Ibrahim (as) and Nimrood's attempt to burn him alive:
بےخطر کود پڑا آتشِ نمرود میں عشق عقل ہے محوِ تماشائے لبِ بام ابھی
Personality: Aqliyya and Nafsiyya
From the discussion above it should be clear that the human personality is made up of primarily two components: Aqliyya (intellect) and Nafsiyya (inclinations). This was understood by the classical scholars very well and therefore traditionally there was always a balanced emphasis on developing both, to develop wholesome personalities.
However, the rise of scientific thinking after the Renaissance in the West and the rise of 'factory model schools' in the early 20th century has disproportionally shifted the focus on intellect, at times completely ignoring the importance of emotions.
Unfortunately, modern education and schooling have been late to adjust and consequently, students' emotional well-being is oft-ignored. Instructions like 'sit straight', 'don't talk', 'no laughing' are common phrases heard from teachers as early as Montessori and pre-school. The use of corporal punishments is also not uncommon in schools and madaris for petty reasons. The age when developing children's nafsiyya through love and repeated actions would've been easiest is lost in teaching them concepts and enforcing discipline, devoid of emotions.
Interestingly, pupils in our schools and madaris are the most organized when it comes to metrics like punctuality and discipline, but our societies are the most disorganized on the same metrics. Why? One explanation is that instead of instilling love and affection for such behaviors, we instill hatred because of excessive strictness and fear. Therefore, as soon as the checks disappear, people revert to their default or even become rebellious.
To understand the difference between aqliyya and nafsiyya, use driving as a metaphor. While learning the theoretical part of how to operate a car is pretty simple, the practical part — translating theory into actions — is quite challenging and requires days if not months of practice. As time passes and the process is repeated many times, it becomes like second nature, and the brain is almost bypassed. In exactly the same fashion, humans can develop good habits which will require no amount of intervention from the brain. So the mere thought of pork or even alcohol should trigger disgust and repulsion. Similarly, prayer and fasting should elicit positive emotions. If that is the case for all the prohibitions and commandments respectively, you have succeeded in developing a perfect nafsiyya.
Developing a Good Nafsiyya
Developing a good nafsiyya in yourself requires God-consciousness (taqwa) and constantly engaging in the process of purification of the self (tazkiya-e-nafs). Remaining attached to the Quran (both recitation and understanding), good company, and clear personal goals do help a lot.
Instilling a good nafsiyya in children is actually much easier for both children (as they don't have to unlearn anything) and parents. The key is to associate positive feelings and emotions with the behaviors and actions we want to encourage, and to associate negative ones with those we want to discourage. This is done with stories from the Quran, the Seerah, and the life of the Sahaba (ra).
However, sometimes the wrong choice of schools (and resultingly friends) makes parents' job more challenging. It is observed that in our society most parents dream to send their children to schools they can barely afford, and which are on the modern/liberal side. Their intentions are usually pure — they just want their children to be confident and fluent in English. However, the children often end up being 'bold' instead of confident, challenging anything they think is outdated, be it Islam!
May Allah (swt) help us in developing a good nafsiyya in ourselves and those we are responsible for.
